Pear Boy .... Drink!

Caps on a Hot Tin Roof Caps cap A steady gaze and subtle finger adjustment, then the release and a gently arching, spinning copper disc begins its inexorable journey. Between your legs your cup waits, filled to regulation height with a slight bulge of foam beyond the rim. Though the outcome is certain, you vainly persist with the double voodoo hex. The penny descends, the leading edge pierces the foam. As it sinks to the bottom of your cup, adding to the already hefty ballast, a wave of beer rises to wet your face and pear shaped torso. A final indignity; game, set, match.

-Howard F.


Caps Terminology:
"Schweitzer Fill", or "Schweitz": filling the cup until it's basically overflowing.
"A Dowling": trying to distract your opponent as they shoot by suddenly jerking or gesturing wildly.
"A Nielsen", or "A Chip": throwing the penny at your opponent's cup so hard that, if it doesn't go in, you at least break or knock the cup over, therefore drenching your opponent.
"A Bomb": a shot that is angled into your opponent's cup with such arc that it not only goes in, but causes a splash to drench your opponent's lap.
"I'm drinking in my spare time": alluding to the fact that your opponent is either taking too much time between shots, or just not making any.
"The cup wants the penny. The cup needs the penny": trying to will your coin into your opponent's cup a la Uri Geller.
"Drink!": a command barked at your opponent as your shots begin to fall in.
"Point, game, set, match, care to play to [next increment of 5]?": a taunt given by winner to loser.
"Come on, let's play to [next increment of 5]": the loser's rebuttal.
"Team Pear Boy": an allusion to a historic yet failed caps team, renowned for their desperation, heavy drinking, bulbous physiques, and gruesome finish.
"HOOOOOOOWIIEEEEEEEEE!!!": a screech of torment howled relentlessly by one of the aforementioned Pear Boys upon losing yet another match.

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